#worst camping trip ever ahaha

[sleeppywitch]

˗ˋ◜❤◝ˊ˗

8.5.2020

[hannahchuu]

I was tagged by @makeitpoppy 💕😍

Are you staying at home from work/school?

So, I haven't been to work since beginning of March but I have to go back there next week (for now it's just a meeting bc I'm working in a hotel & my schedule depends on the amount of guests we have). I've been really happy about that tho bc I still get paid & just before the pandemic happend, I got really overwhelmed by my work & started to hate it a lot. I also had some issues with a colleague & I dread having to see her again. I had really wished that I wouldn't have to go back there anytime soon.

University has also been cancelled after only one regular week & I only have online classes now. Tbf tho, I would've only had one class overall this semester bc I'm in my last semester of university & only my master's thesis is left. My only class is a Japanese conversation class, which is online now & I'm really struggling with the format lol. It's so odd to have to talk to people when you can't see them & half the time you also can't hear them properly.

As for my master's thesis...at first I was fine with quarantine & uni being cancelled bc I thought it'd give me time to focus on my thesis but unexpectedly libraries also closed for two months & I wasn't able to get any books until beginning of May. So I basically didn't do anything at home ahaha.

If you’re at home, who is there with you?

No one. My mum used to be there occasionally but she has since gone to her boyfriend's house and rarely ever comes. (Which is totally fine btw. She really stresses me out lol)

Do you have pets to keep you company?

No 💔

Who do you miss the most?

I have social anxiety so I'm actually quite happy about not having to see anyone. I also feel like I talk (via phone) to my friends & family way more often now. I do however, miss certain activities like going shopping with my friends. Oh & hugs! I also miss my sister & her girlfriend bc it's always fun being around them. And I miss the people in my Japanese class. Online classes really take away the social aspects of it (Like talking with people before & after).

When was the last time you left your home?

Yesterday! I went to the supermarket bc my fridge was v v empty. The last time I left to go somewhere else was last Thursday when I went to the library.

What was the last thing you bought?

The last thing I bought in person was food. Last online purchase were face masks (as in sheet masks) ahaha.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I'm sort of relaxed? Like more relaxed than usual I think. I'm a bit stressed out about my future bc I'm right at the end of my university education & I actually planned to finish my thesis & get a full-time job by the end of the year but I'm not sure whether there will still be jobs or job interviews ahahah. My thesis also stresses me out a bit. But I think all of this would've also stressed me out w/o quarantine so overall I'm relaxed. I'm getting stressed out by the prospect of going back to work tho.

Are you a homebody?

Yessssss

What movies have you watched recently?

So I was planning on watching tons of films during quarantine but I haven't watched any so far ahahah

I mainly watch anime & YouTube

An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

Two anime conventions I've been going to religiously with my friends T_T

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

My Japan trip. It would've been my very first trip to Japan but a week before we were due to leave Austria issued a travel warning for all countries. Later on all tourists arriving in Japan also had to quarantine themselves for 2 weeks. I was super upset about having to cancel it but also sort of relieved bc I wouldn't have wanted to go there in the middle of a pandemic. I also got all of my money refunded so yay.

What’s the best thing you had to cancel?

Any kind of social interaction and work ahahhahaha

Do you have any new hobbies?

Not really. Before I started working on my thesis, I studied Japanese more frequently but that's about it.

What are you out of?

Skincare! I put off ordering any new items bc I was supposed to go to Japan & I thought I could just buy everything there. Well, now I'm out of toner, essence, a good cleanser and face masks :(( I ended up ordering more at the end of March but my order still hasn't arrived yet (It's stuck at customs T____T)

What music are you listening to?

Mainly German Hip-Hop ahahah

What shows are you watching?

Soooo, I've literally watched 7 anime series so far:

Chobits

Kimagure Orange Road

Yuru Camp (my favourite)

Sabagebu!

Citrus

Fullmetal Alchemist

Asobi Asobase

So yeah, quite productive! I gotta focus on my thesis now tho so I’ve only been sporadically watching Ojamajo Doremi.

What are you reading?

My only goal for this quarantine was to finally read all of the books that have been piling up on my bedside table, which I did yay

I've read The Scarlet Letter, The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea (I recommend), The Moon over the Mountain, UFO In Her Eyes (I can also recommend) & In Dreams Begin Responsibilities and Other Stories.

I got 3 more books for my birthday (Poems To Fix A Fucked Up World, Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination & Roadqueen), which I haven't gotten around to reading yet.

What are you doing for self care?

Taking long baths & reading in the bath tub 💕 I also apply lash serum, a lip mask & body lotion every night.

Are you exercising?

Yes! I actually started exercising everyday in September & I'm still doing it yay

How’s your toilet paper supply?

I still have enough left ahahah I was supposed to be quarantined w my mum but I ended up being by myself & I don’t need a lot.

Have you made any changes to your hair?

Not yet. I've been considering getting bangs & the only thing that (luckily) is stopping me is that one tumblr post that's like you don't need bangs! you need therapy!!!!

I tag @lunarix @swaddle @motherfuckinbuddha @ive-beendreaming​ @kaizoku​ @piggiechi​ @regenbogen-flummi​ @misodelivery​ @vroomkat​ @zyphyyr​ @my-selfish-love @giantoflight @frillypinkdreams @catpacks @cupidie @emograntaire @sugarmickey @bubbleteaboy & everyone else who wants to do this

[mirrorballwhoistrying]

Sunshine & Roses (17.09.22)

It’s weird that I’m writing this in the middle of the month, but well, I didn’t write one at the end of August and I figured while I’m still in my fever-high phase, I should document how I feel.

August started out with a promotional single for my official album ahaha. I went to Siem Reap alone. It was a long overdue trip. It wasn’t a success since I barely socialize. I just got to visit a lot of cafes but I didn’t even manage to meet that one online friend. It was a warm-up for my flight to Malaysia in the middle of the month.

One week before I had my first flight in 2.5 years, I began coughing. It was crazy but I couldn’t escape it this time since it was from my parents. The worst case I could ever imagine happened 2 days before the flight. That’s how crazy how life is. I tested positive for COVID-19. It was a crazy period of time. I began taking COVID-19 pills too and tested positive the next day. 

I wasn’t fully recovered but was much better. I thought the workshop would be a normal experience since I have attended JENESYS 2018 before. It surprised me so much in a good way and ended up the highlight of this year. I’d never felt more alive. I’m so grateful for all the people I’ve met and the things I’ve experienced. It’s like I found a piece of myself back that’d been lost in the past 2 years. I stayed for 2 more days after the workshop and got to meet my jiejie Tian. It was awesome just to be abroad traveling again. 

I won’t detail since I’ve written 2 long articles on my blogs already haha. The next week, another crazy thing happened. My final project “The Two Parts of Me” was selected for showcase at Chaktomuk Short Film Festival! I could never dream of this! August was really crazy for real. It was really a winning phase! 

It might be a little thing for others, but it means a lot to me. My number one passion is film. Although I’m not pursuing a film career full-time, it remains an important part of me. My work being acknowledged means so much to me. It’s a small step in the right direction. 

From the end of August until now, I spent time working on 4 deadlines. I’ve worked on revising my docudrama. I feel so much more confident with it now. I also apply for a short film camp with my close friend. It feels amazing to write the script again. It’s just so good to keep the engine running. I’ve applied for 2 post-workshop grants with YSEALI teammates and Cambodian participants. All 4 deadlines were due this week. I don’t know. It was tiring and fulfilling at the same time. 

I don’t know what’s in store for the rest of the year, but I want to remain hopeful for it. I’m also preparing to apply for a Master’s degree too. I think this is the only article this year that I’m this hopeful haha.... I hope I keep this energy for the remaining of this year. 

[kiwisoap]

4, 5, 14, 26, 38 (for Charlie)

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Charlie is absolutely certain that he saw a wendigo once, when he was working in a small logging camp in northern Wisconsin and a blizzard stranded them for almost 2 weeks. It was the most sinister, viscerally terrifying thing he’d ever seen and rattled him so badly that he actually ran away and fought through hip-deep snow until he quite literally froze, but at that point he was a good 20 miles away. It was the only point since realizing his immortality that he felt like he could have honestly been killed. He never mentions the circumstances of the incident but Lu and Asa both know that he hates winter.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

A pack of Tally-Ho playing cards, a couple of banjo picks, spare change, a pocketknife, twine, a tin of cinnamon Altoids, chapstick, a key ring with far too many keys on it, candy and candy wrappers, lighter, cigarettes

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

He’s really good with both, but remembers people by their face moreso than their name. Like, if you started talking about someone, he could probably recall 2 or 3 things about them based on their name even if he didn’t remember exactly who they were, but if you showed him a picture he’d IMMEDIATELY know who they were even if he didn’t remember their name.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Dude he LOVES kids,,, he gets along with them great (probably because he’s essentially a huge child himself). He loves talking to them and telling them stories (and lying to them, you can’t beat telling kids bald-faced lies in sheer entertainment value) and he’ll pay attention when they talk to him about whatever, he’ll let them pick around on his banjo or play with his harmonica if they ask to, he just,, fuckin loves kids. Also he loves to show off and its a lot easier to impress a couple 4th graders than it is to impress adults because kids have very different ideas of what’s ‘cool’.

I know “patient” is usually used to describe people who are good with kids but isn’t exactly the right word for Charlie because he’s not a particularly patient person; its more like he’s got the specific type of personality & way of dealing with kids that he can get grouchy and snappy at them without them taking it too harshly which is a very delicate balance. Catch him dangling a 12-year-old upside-down by their ankles for trying to steal his hat.

@quinntheshiki sticking ur ask in here as well because Charlie was popular tonight ahah

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Oh man it really just depends on the context of the confrontation tbh. his main go-to is either Deflect And Redirect (tm), DARVO, or clear threats of physical harm

If it’s with someone he doesn’t know or doesn’t like, he’ll try to talk circles around them and trip them up, turn whatever they’re saying back on them and make them look stupid, which he’s pretty good at tbh (he’s a true performer ahaha). He’ll treat it more like a game because he’s not actually emotionally invested in their opinion of him. He’s also not afraid to turn things physical because he’s quick and has a mean right hook and also can’t die.

If its with someone he’s close to though any manner of confrontation is so fucking frustrating, because he’s defensive to the point of being unreasonable when he feels threatened/attacked. And it’s VERY easy to make him feel like that because he’s a very quick-tempered and volatile boy! So usually he ends up pulling some textbook DARVO bs or just completely changing the subject, which just turns into a circular argument of attacking/denying/redirecting until the matter is dropped, someone gives up, or there’s a physical fight.

(Or, arguably worse and highly dependent on the context of the confrontation, he’ll sit very still and remain almost unresponsive the entire time, and then 2 hours later act like nothing happened and be unable to recall the details of what was said)

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

The best thing about being immortal is that he doesn’t have to worry about risking his life doing stupid shit so he’s absolutely more likely to remove a problem/threat. That’s kind of his whole shtick as the Prince of West Broad Street actually! If someone is causing a problem on his street (vandalizing cars/buildings, harassing girls, causing a disturbance, etc etc.) then Charlie Takes Care Of It. West Broad Street is known as either the best or the worst street in the town, depending on the type of person you are.

[readingraebow]

The Wolf of Wall Street Section Four

Chapters 27-34

1. Steve Madden designs shoes. What’s your favorite shoe that you own? Hmm. I'm honestly not sure. I don't really like shoes in general and usually take them off first thing when I go anYWHERE. (I am actually Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday and spend half of any formal setting trying to get my shoe back on without attracting attention, ahaha.) *ahem* Anyway, I guess I would have to say these black heels that I generally wear on Sundays. I look really good in them and they go with a lot of my really cute dresses. I only wear them for an hour or two when I go to church but they're probably my favorite shoes? 2. When Jordan is out to lunch with Steve, who is the second phone call from and what do they tell him? The second phone call is from Janet. She's calling to let him know that Aunt Patricia died. Which means all of Jordan's Switzerland dealings are, well, going down the drain. Sooooo. That's going to be a huge problem. 3. When Jordan gets back from Switzerland, what does Gary Deluca call to say? So Jordan was super worried when he was in Switzerland because everything was all in an uproar and even though Jordan's money had all been transferred to a different bank using Aunt Patricia's name, Jordan was still worried that someone might implicate him if given the chance. He was assured that they were all trustworthy and no one would speak out against him. But, when Jordan gets back from Switzerland, Gary calls to tell him that Saurel has been indicted. And what's silly about this is that he was in America and it's on a completely unrelated charge. So good going there. 4. Why is Carolyn going to jail? Well, when Carolyn delivered the money to Saurel's bank, she didn't just turn over the money and go. She stAYED AND MADE FRIENDS WITH SAUREL. And she even exchanged phone numbers with him?? And so now Saurel knows a lot more than he should because Carolyn made friends with him. So since Saurel was indicted and is working against Jordan, Carolyn is now an accessory. 5. What’s Chandler’s initial reaction to the news that she will have a little brother? If you are an older sibling, how did you first react to having a younger sibling? So this was hilarious. She was like could you just not bring him home??? We don't need him??? Just leave him at the hospital??? And Jordan was convincing her that she'd love having a little brother and they'd all still be happy with him around. And Chandler just wasn't buying this. But eventually she decides that it's okay to bring him home. And goes back to playing with her blocks. And sadly I don't have any siblings so I never had this conversation, haha. But if I'd been the oldest, I'm sure I would've. Because that actually sounds like me as a child, hahaha. 6. What does the nurse notice about Carter as they are leaving the hospital? That he has a hole in his heart. She listens and notices that is heartbeat is irregular and there's this swooshing sound. So they run more tests and discover that there are actually two holes in Carter's heart but they counteract each other. And if he makes it through the first few days without incident then he's out of the woods and won't have any problems and the holes with close up on their own, as he grows, by the time he's 5. 7. What happens when they try to go out on the Mediterranean after they’ve been warned not to? A disASTER. The storm ends up being a lot worse than predicted and the boat can't withstand the damage. So the whole yacht ends up sinking and they all have to be rescued by the Coast Guard and basically all of their friends hate Jordan because none of them wanted to risk going out in the storm but Jordan insisted. And the whole thing was just an absolute total disaster. Like wow. It was SO BAD. (I would've hated Jordan too. They seriously almost died.) 8. The trip to does not go as planned. What’s the worst vacation you’ve ever been on? CAMPING. WHY DOES CAMPING EXIST?!?! WHY DO PEOPLE DO THE THING??? WHY DO PEOPLE THINK CAMPING IS FUN??? IT'S REALLY NOT. Also I am the actual embodiment of that "The best way to show that you know absolutely nothing about me is to invite me camping" meme. But, anyway, my parents loved to go camping every summer and they found this "resort" (I use the term VERY loosely) that's up in the mountains about an hour and a half away from where they live and we drove up there to check it out before we actually stayed there. And I remember driving up and going "so this looks like the set of Wrong Turn" because it seriously looked like the field of cars right behind the cabin where they murdered everyone. I am not even joking. We did end up staying there and the whole place was just super run down and not even fun??? Like they had a lodge and a game room but everything was in disrepair? And to top it all off, this was so far in the mountains that there was no cell reception and no internet. So I took an entire bag of books and just stayed in the cabin reading for a week. That part wasn't bad but it was also super hot and this cabin had no ventilation and it was tiny and I was stuck with my parents and was just so miserable for a week. And we went for, like, three summers. I hate camping so much. (Thank goodness I'm an adult and potentially never have to go again. Moving far, far away from your parents had some really great advantages.)

  Section Four Reading Journal

OKAY BUT THAT BOAT RIDE. WOW. IT WAS SO TERRIBLE. I cannot believe Jordan thought that was a good idea O.O Like I get that he was high and everything but shouldn’t soMEONE have put their foot down and been like “nah bro. if we do that, we’re gonna die.” SERIOUSLY.

Honestly, I think that was the most memorable part of this entire section. That and I was so sad that Aunt Patricia died!! And, wow, everything is really starting to fall apart now???

I am really, really enjoying this book. It’s been such a good read. I’m so glad we picked it! Can’t wait to read the last section!!

[grumpyoldsnake]

Tagged by @doctorsnark​ a little while ago? (More than a little? Honestly can’ t remember.)

RULES: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours. When you are done, tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you and most importantly, have fun!

A) Age: 20.

B) Biggest fear: Death, sickness, and the loss of loved ones.

C) Current time: Pass.

D) Drink you last had: Water.

E) Every day starts with: Either my brain going ‘nope you’re done sleeping,’ my alarm, or my sister poking her head into my room and turning my lights on before said alarm goes off (rude).

F) Favourite song atm: A;lakdjf;ljff um. Ummm. I dunno. Rockabye by Clean Bandit has been on the radio a lot, and once I listened to the lyrics I really liked it? Or Believer by Imagine dragons; again, it’s been on the radio, and I like the sound of it.

G) Ghosts, are they real?: I’m pretty skeptical, but I don’t tend to get up in arms or argue against their existence or anything.

H) Hometown?: Pass. (I do try to maintain some privacy. :P)

I) In love with?: Nobody currently. Ever? I don’t even know, the closest I get to even a crush always seems to pass in like a month or two. *shrug*

J) Jealous of?: Errm. People who can start and complete projects on a consistent basis I guess? (And no, I don’t mean someone who finishes everything they start. Not sure that exists. Just. Finishing multiple things overall and in general would be nice.)

K) Killed Someone?: Ack. No.

L) Last time you cried: Ahaha, finals week + ill cats and altogether too much stress. So. Couple weeks ago.

M) Middle name: Pass.

N) Number of siblings: 1 younger sister.

O) One wish: That my cat would start eating enough again, please. >_> She kicked the respiratory infection (was worried she wouldn’t be able to for a while there), but she still has a UTI and something else seems to be wrong and I’m worried.

P) Person you last called/texted: My mom.

Q) Questions you are always being asked: Uhh. Y’know, I don’t know? Actually wait, I guess--I’ve been around new people on a more sustained basis with all these camping trips and projects and such, so people have been asking about my twitches more often recently. Also, had two women ask about the way I sit. 

R) Reasons to smile: Positive relationships (familial, platonic, romantic, whatev), goofing around, cuddles, the sense of accomplishment when I actually finish something, pleasant weather, petrichor, pleasant textures, pleasant sounds, favorite foods, noticing neat bugs/plants/rocks/what-have-you, my guinea pigs licked me today a;lsdkajfdslkjff, pets in general when they’re not worrying me sick, bats, good stories, good music, good movies, good art, seeing people having fun, etc, etc. There’s a reason I literally have a tag for “makes me smile”.

S) Song last sung: I think I was singing bits and pieces of “Little Lion Man” by Mumford and Sons yesterday.

T) Time you woke up: Well, if we discount waking up for half an hour at 4 am, then 7:15. 

U) Underwear color: Blue.

W) Worst habits: Procrastination, failing to reach out to or check in with friends of my own initiative, thinking I’m some sort of objective observer + advice-giver when I don’t actually know squat or at the very least do definitely have an emotional investment, even if I’m not (willing to be) aware of it.

X) X-rays you’ve had: Dental x-rays, nothing else.

Z) Zodiac sign: Um. Scorpius, I think?

Tagging: Only if you want to! But: @throughoutthestars​, @quoth143​, @perniciouslizard​, @onepunchbeth​, @rankorhann, @alienalfredo, @keastarino, @kaesaaurelia, @curlicuecal, @esmiden.

[mysticelevator]

Fibonacci numbers (I DEMAND TWO SELFIES)

Ooooh, fibonacci numbers are good numbers!

1 [Selfie]. Here’s a picture I took immediately upon getting this message.  It was kinda dark and I was in a car.

1 [Selfie]. A better picture taken earlier today by @dweebusapollo​:

2 [What would you name your future kids?]. The thing that instantly popped into my head was “Sabrina” and I have no idea why.  In real life I’d probably agonize over the decision for several months and name them after a character I like.

3 [Do you miss anyone?]. Yeah actually I miss a lot of people from Mudd.  And a lot of people not from Mudd.  But mostly people from Mudd.  Honestly what I miss most is low-key hanging out.  Nowadays, if I want to hang out with people, I have to arrange it days in advance and make sure I have a reasonable plan for getting home at a reasonable hour.  I miss the lounge being five steps away and hanging out being as far away as texting someone and saying, “hey, you free?”

5 [Is there anyone who can always make you smile?]. I’m honestly not the kind of person that often needs someone to make me smile, so I don’t… really know?  But there are people I could always trust to comfort me.

8 [Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?]. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve cried in annoyance.  I’ve cried in plenty of other things (usually frustration or worry that I’ve disappointed someone) but not annoyance.

13 [How do you feel right now?] Sleepy.

21 [Age and birthday?] I’m 22 and I was born in April.  Did you know lots of people use birthdays as secret keys?  This is even sillier than using social security numbers as secret keys.

34 [Most embarrassing moment] Ohh that’s difficult to decide.  There are quite a few that I still think of and physically cringe at.  Let’s go with this particular time freshman year of high school.  The school was funding a bunch of people to go to France (which, like, super cool that we could do that!!!! France was awesome, the trip sucked).

Now, this was back when high school was basically The Worst and I had no friends - no one liked me, and I didn’t like anyone.  I had online friends, and friends from summer camp, and one or two sort-of-acquaintance-friends, but none of them were coming.  Also this was only a few months after I got into what I believe was (undiagnosed) depression, probably as as result of having no friends and having my best friend of like eight years move to Florida.  I’m telling you this so that you can understand my mindset going into this - on a trip with a bunch of people that I basically hated and that basically hated (or at least made fun of) me.

My mom was a chaperone (already embarrassing) and I was rooming with these two other girls who… were probably the people that would be nicest to me on the trip, but that’s not exactly a high bar.  Later on, one of them would tell me to get off a bridge so they could take a picture of it (while other people were still there).

Now, you also have to consider that a driving force of my high school career was hating it when anyone considered me “young” or “a kid.”  I skipped a grade at one point, so I was a year younger than everyone else, and I had a spring birthday, so most of the year I was two years younger than everyone else.  And it really ground my gears when people would treat me like a kid.

(My mom once pointed out that college kids also acted like children and they didn’t seem to mind.  I pointed out back to her that when college kids act like children, people say “ahaha, look at those twenty-year-olds having a grand old time and not caring what people think,” but when 14-year-olds act like children - especially 14-year-olds who hit puberty really late - people say “that is a child.”  Kids really don’t get the luxury of not caring what people think, and I think most people my age (22) don’t really remember how much being a kid sucked in a lot of ways.)

Anyway, freshman year of high school, trip to France, let me set the scene.  It’s nighttime, my two roommates and I were all in bed, and the other girls decided they wanted to discuss boys.  With me, of course.

Now, at the time, I was a young 14-year-old whippersnapper dabbling in the idea that I didn’t like boys the way Other Girls did.  Three months later, I would have conversations about sexuality at summer camp after which I would announce to certain people that I was bisexual, the idea being that (bear with me here) if I ended up being wrong about it and I did end up liking boys in the future, I hadn’t just looked like I had gone through some kind of phase.  Hey, there were very few people I could talk to about this stuff, and back at the time, asexuality wasn’t really a thing anyone I talked to knew about.  I think if it had been, I would have defined myself as asexual.  Though I probably wouldn’t have told anyone, because I would have thought it made me look younger than I was (clearly that child isn’t asexual, she’s just young and doesn’t know what it is to love!) and I hated anything that made me seem like a child.

(Even now I’m still kind of conflicted about my sexuality.  I owe a larger thought dump on this topic, but the idea is I’ve felt what I believe to be honest-to-god sexual attraction to two (maybe three, it was a while ago and hard to remember) people, and both/all of them have been women.  Now, does that make me (a) asexual, because it happens super rarely, (b) a lesbian, because it’s always been to women, or © pansexual, because if my brain ever did randomly experience attraction to a non-woman, it’s not like I’d be against the idea.  And then there’s the whole can of kinks and I don’t even want to go there right now.)

So okay, they get to talking about boys.  And inevitably one of them asks, “what about you, Sarah? Kissed lots of boys?  Kissed a boy? Hahaha she’s probably never kissed a boy,” and of course I”m just like god DAMN now they’re gonna treat me like a kid again.  (FWIW I think I had kissed a boy one time? And it sucked?  But I don’t honestly remember whether that happened before or after this encounter.)  So I just made up a story about me french kissing some boy in eighth grade, using words I 300% did not understand and just making it up as I went.  I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it probably made absolutely zero sense in retrospect, and at the time I remember them just going “really,” because honestly what I said definitely sounded made-up.  Which it was.

So then there’s just this awkward silence where everyone in the room knows I just lied through my teeth, and poorly, and what were they gonna do about it.  Obviously there was no good way out of that one so I just pretended to pass the fuck out and hope they’d leave me alone about it later.

Most of the rest of that trip was just kind of a blur, but I do remember that I avoided the hell out of them as often as I could.  I think I started keeping a journal so that I would look like I was Writing Important Things rather than Not Talking To Anyone.  I wonder if I still have it.

HAHA you thought you were getting a fun embarrassing story about me but instead you got deeply repressed shame about my sexuality!  Take that.

[55 Tumblr friends] I hate friend litmus tests so I’m just gonna do [56 favorite foods] instead.  I really like Thai food lately?  I’m like friends with all the people that work at this Thai restaurant near where my building at school is, and I get Rad Na from them for lunch basically every day.

I’m also a stereotypical white person that can’t really handle spice, but I’ve been trying spicier food lately and have discovered that the main reason I don’t like spicy food is because for a lot of spicy food, hot is all it is.  Like a lot of hot food doesn’t have taste under the hot.  A friend’s mom sent her a bunch of homemade food from India.  My friend and I ate it together and it was really good.  There’s this delicious spicy chutney that like hurts my mouth, but has the best taste I’ve ever tasted.  So there ya go.

[creativekiddo]

(part one- whoops ahaha) my crush is(was?) this girl who I lowkey knew and suddenly fell head over heels for?? It was like love at first sight EXCEPt it wasn't because I don't think she even likes me as a friend? and I switched schools and got over her mostly (so I guess I wasn't THAT much in love...) but I still really liked her, every time I saw her post something on IG I went ! and every time I heard someone mention her name I went ? -yikes

(part 2)and then when I went to arts camp she was there and I had a TOTAL crush-relapse.. and then I had a conversation with her Iwasn't awkward and I didn't stutter and it was so good!! but then when I was running back to my cabin (why was I running? idk.) I tripped over a tree root and almost died of embarrassment D:... and then I realized she hardly new I existed and yea I was sad and yea I lowkey still like her but I don't really freak out over her anymoreee..?

part 3 (I"M SORRY, IF YOU DON"T WANT TO RESPOND TO THESE THAT"S CHILL

This was a wild ride omg, first of all don’t apologise you’re not bugging me at all, I love getting asks and stories from you guys! I’m sorry she never seemed to know you properly, but I guess you two just weren’t meant to be? At least not just now. Good news about her being into girls though, i mean if you meet her again and it turns out she hasn’t got a gf anymore then you could be in with a chance? Don’t stress about embarrassing yourself in front of your crushes either because everybody does stuff like that and it feels like THE WORST but it’s really not. People trip over. That’s life. But if you feel like you couldn’t date her, and you’re not freaking out about her anymore, then I think these are signs that your crush on her is coming to an end? or at least fading (does any crush ever completely disappear tbh because in my experience, never) and maybe you should try and move on to find other people to fall in love with who you could visualize dating, bc we all deserve to find someone! Anyhow, good luck with sorting all these feelings out! Im always here if you need to rant 💕💕

[rhuemis]

5, 6, 9, 15

5,) how often do people (not family members) tell you they love you?

uhhh romantically? confession-wise? more often than i’ll ever understand tbh but as for platonically i have like one IRL friend that sometimes says it and then i have a few people online that smother me in affection ahaha 

 6,)  how is your life different now from two years ago?

two years ago i was living in a childrens home but was, weirdly, kinda happier

 9,) whats the worst pickup line someone has asked you?

i dont think ive ever had one used on me, sorry!

15,)  what is your favorite memory?

i have a few that come to mind tbh

like the time my Year 5 teacher pulled out his guitar and got me to sing with him, cross-legged on the floor

or the time me and @wolf-ossuary laughed so hard in Pizza Hut that we couldnt finish our pizza ((there were tears))

or the time me and a few friends went to the beach to feed some seagulls

or the time the Game Grumps did something very special for me ((that i am unfortunately not allowed to talk about bc i was asked not to, sorry))

or the time me and some friends went “ghosting” at the end of a week-long camping festival trip

or the time i was given an expensive book full of wonderful drawings for much cheaper than the asking price because the artist tabling asked to see my art and genuinely wanted me to succeed and extended the kindness after overhearing my financial situation

or the time i saw a guy i was incredibly fond of for the first time in a very long time and the conversations that followed

or the time time that i was camping with my old scout troop and we played games in the forest in the dark

or the time my old art teacher ((who everybody dislikes aside from me)) heard that i was living in a childrens home and frantically pushed sketchbooks and art supplies into my hands asking only for the promise that i’d use them in return

or the time one of the childrens home staff was leaving the job within a week and decided to take me out for krispy kreme because she adored me and she didn’t care if she got into trouble

i could go on and on but i’d be here all night ahaha ((and if anybody wants me to elaborate on any of these memories just like shoot an ask, i dont mind telling the stories))